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Funny speech on dating

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has helped me meet and attract some of the coolest women you can imagine. One is a former Miss Indiana from the Miss America pageant. Now I don’t know if you’re aware of this but certain people in the realm of online dating tend to lie about a couple of things to make themselves more appealing to potential mates.Andrew resorted to this tactic just before he met Stephanie; and as it happens I actually have Andrew’s old profile with me here today.Soon the single ladies were sharing their funny dating horror stories. Okay, not exactly this, but did you ever have a very funny first date (or second, third or fourth date)? The following story could have been a stand-up comedy routine. ’ Taken aback, I let that one roll off my back, too, but needless to say, this guy did not make a good first impression. As he began a monologue about how cool and amazing he was, I nodded like a bobble-head until I began to get a headache. When he came to see me in the hospital after I’d been born he was less interested in me and more interested in the ambulances outside.When he finally got bored of the ambulances an hour later he introduced himself to me “Hello, I’m Andrew, I’m your big brother, welcome to the world little guy… I’m afraid I will have to make your life a living hell for the next 18 years, it’s nothing personal it’s just that those are the rules of siblingship, yeah I don’t make up the rules unfortunately…” and he stayed true to that, I was barely out of my huggies a week before he gave me my first wedgie.

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‘Dating coach’ is not your typical career, and it’s usually a great conversation starter. And who doesn’t like a person with a good sense of humor?

So as I read it, just see if you can identify which parts are true and which parts are a load of malarkey.

“Olympic weightlifting champion/Billionaire playboy looking for love”Interests include: Getting super ripped at the gym Admiring my super awesome 6-packand travelling the world on my 7 private jets Yeah, no prizes there for guessing which part of that was a lie.

he had the back end of the camel, yeah Andrew is the most determined and dedicated person I know, and this was shown best when he was learning how to ride a bicycle. Ok just think very carefully about what you’re about to do here, because this moment may have very big ramifications in the future. If I do a good job here Stephanie will be happy but if I do a bad job and burn this pizza she’ll be mad but she will never ask me to do the cooking ever again…” Funnily enough he adopted the same tactic on with the washing up, the vacuuming and the gardening…

Again and again Dad would give Andrew a little push start and again and again he would fall off. But Andrew’s new job of being a caring and dedicated husband I am sure he will give 110%.