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I felt like he and the boy were speaking a language that I didn’t speak, and that I hadn’t even really known existed.

As the weekend unfolded, the purpose of their photo-swapping would become clear: an indication, after some time apart, that the flirtation between them was back on.

So what’s the difference between a person who sends and receives sexy photos from a person who doesn’t?

Around the time she graduated from college, she fell for a friend just as he was about to move across the country; nudes became a way of “keeping in touch” in the most literal way possible. “We would send each other videos of each other finishing.

It was our kind of foreplay for when we eventually hooked up.” After the relationship fell apart, she kept taking pictures — this time, in the form of meticulously art-directed self-portraits in various states of undress, which she selectively sent to men she was seeing, sometimes in the middle of the work day.

to go meet up with him a couple of towns over (they made out a little, but he was back at our cabin before morning).

When I asked him about it later, he said that sending and receiving come-hither photos forms a regular part of his courtship repertoire — though he typically reserves full nudity for more impersonal hook-up contexts, like Grindr.